On a lighter note...

I am in awe of Ugandan media, and not for its flawless sophistication. Inaccurate news broadcasts, dubbed telenovelas, low low low budget music videos, commercials and TV shows, terribly produced and edited educational DVDs- they have it all!

I decided this issue needed to be addressed while watching an educational video with Jeremiah. It was supposed to be a DVD of traditional American sing-a-longs. Out of 20, I think I had maybe heard of two. When the screen announced “The song of the bc s” I was particularly confused. After a few seconds it became apparent that they had meant “the alphabet”. Well, sort of. They had the ABCDEF part right, but after that it was just a mess. Missing J’s, Us Vs and Ws out of order, and completely the wrong tune had me laughing hysterically throughout the whole thing.

Mary had a little lamb, old mcdonald had a farm and I think something that was supposed to be a Christmas carol were also redonkulous. Not only are the sung-out-loud lyrics to each song wrong, but they didn’t even match up to the inaccuracy of the sing-along words appearing on screen. Thank God Jeremiah can’t read or understand much English or he would be a complete idiot by now. Besides the ‘song of the bc s’ there are many many other equally disturbing gems on that DVD that I hope to bring back and introduce to American children.

In other news, my favorite commercial here is for a local physician. It is about 2 minutes long and features graphic pictures of skin diseases, parasites and infections as well as “candid” moments with the doctor examining patients in an office. But the real reason it’s the best is because throughout, the “Lord of the Rings” theme plays. For those of you who aren’t nerds, trust me you would still recognize it from a mile away, I guess copyright laws don’t apply if you’re pretty sure Howard Shore and Peter Jackson will never see your ad.

As far as soaps, there are the telenovelas and the Ugandan low-budget soaps. Personally, Bukkede TV’s self-produced Luganda soaps are just a little too high-brow for my taste. I can’t be positive but I think they lost me when one character spent 90 seconds on screen peeling and eating 2 bananas. I am not using hyperbole here people- the camera really focused on him for a solid minute and a half while he ate the bananas. Nothing else happened at all. I think I just don’t appreciate true art. I much prefer my Spanish/English/Luganda dubbed telenovelas- because one they have some English instead of just luganda and two they are completely narrated. Instead of just translating the Spanish dialogue to Luganda, these shows are also submitted to a constant stream of narration (always the same male voice) just in case you can’t comprehend the twisting plots turns (or maybe it’s for visually impaired fans, who knows). So you get dialogue in English and Luganda but also narration that says insightful things like “she angrily looked in the telephone book.” So far I’m undecided if my favorite telenovela is Mi Pecado or The Long Wait. On the one hand, Mi Pecado's male lead looks like a Mexican Bradley Cooper… but the Long Wait has a villainess with the most plucked eyebrows I have ever scene AND a secret assassin! I suppose I’ll just have to keep watching and let you know which I decide on.

On a positive note I genuinely do enjoy Lugandan music, I understand about 1 out of every 20 words, but the tune is generally pretty catchy. My favorite is “Ameria” by Dr. Linderman, although something called “Oli Oli” (sp?) may overtake it soon.

In summation: I will do my best to buy some bootleg DVD’s of Ugandan TV shows and music videos so you can all enjoy!

Also, a call for souvenir requests! Seriously, I mean it. I would much rather get you that painting or carved wooden giraffe or whatever cute African thing you’ve always wanted instead of just buying random stuff! Side note: things are like 0.50 here. More than 5 USD is a ridiculously jacked up price, so it’s not going to break the bank if you request something special! Let me know if you like any of the following ideas: scarves, hand woven baskets, wood carvings, woven purses and wallets, key chains, little pots, beaded jewelry, hand-made sandals, paintings, drums… and no Diana I don’t think they sell dog accessories here, so Bentley will have to make do with a human necklace you turn into a collar yourself.